Gen Z Advice Shakespeare Would Have Loved
Touch Grass
Has anyone ever told you to “touch grass”? I recently saw an interview with Tina Fey, in which she said that’s the biggest insult a Gen Z person can give you. Fey is a mom of teen daughters, and as such, appears to have personal experience being on the receiving end of this particular diss: “When someone says that to you, they’re very angry at you. They’re basically saying ‘you’re insane and being annoying to everyone – go touch grass.’”
I originally thought “touch grass” was some kind of helpful advice from a gardener or green witch, like drinking peppermint tea for an upset stomach or rubbing yarrow on a minor cut. The fact that Fey labeled it “the biggest insult” struck me as odd. However, being a mom of Gen Z twins, I asked and they confirmed that its definitely an insult, especially when they want the annoying person to stop talking. (I’m happy to report they’ve never said it to me — at least not yet😉 ). I’m also predisposed to believe their generation is going to save us all, so after I sat with it, “touch grass” revealed its layers of meaning – it’s a Gen Z (and Gen Alpha) insult which doubles as a constructive directive for emotional regulation.
That’s my kind of insult, and I have a feeling that Shakespeare would have loved it, too. He was a fellow biophilic Taurean, after all, born under a fixed earth sign ruled by Venus, and someone who derived a host of poignant metaphors from the natural environment of Elizabethan England:
“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.”
“What valiant foemen, like to autumn’s corn, have we mow’d down, in tops of all their pride.”
“So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not to those fresh morning drops upon the rose, as thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote the night of dew that on my cheeks down flows.”
“Therefore my age is as a lusty winter, frosty, but kindly. Let me go with you.”
In each of these quotes, Shakespeare is conjuring a feeling that not only transports us to a particular season or time of day, but employs the nature reference to cultivate a well of emotions. And he does it with only a few lines of iambic pentameter! It’s one of the reasons why his works are relevant four hundred years after his death.
“Touch grass” does the same - it references nature while communicating a myriad of emotions in just two words. It conveys that the speaker is exasperated, irritated, and bothered, not interested in continuing the conversation, but doesn’t want to leave their aggravating companion to stew in their own irksome juices. Rather, the speaker is offering a remedy — their companion can get out of their own head by walking outside for a healthy dose of nature.
I’m pretty sure the insult implies that we’re to let our bare feet touch the grass, or bend down and touch it with our hands. I’m also pretty sure Gen Z and Gen Alpha are not talking about artificial turf.
The Science of Touching Grass
If the recipient of the insult actually took the advice hidden in the slight, scientific evidence says the benefits are measurable and significant. Researchers refer to it as “grounding”, suggesting that touching grass, or making contact with the earth, connects us to the earth’s natural electric charge, thereby transferring electrons into our bodies. Peer-reviewed studies show that grounding lowers inflammation, improves sleep, and helps to control anxiety. It’s even been given a nutritional moniker – “Vitamin G” (for grounding, in case you were wondering).
One study published in the February 2023 edition of Biomedical Journal found that grounding enabled participants to lower their blood pressure and reduce reliance on prescription drugs for hypertension. [Sinatra ST, Sinatra DS, Sinatra SW, Chevalier G. Grounding - The universal anti-inflammatory remedy. Biomed J. 2023 Feb;46(1):11-16. doi: 10.1016/j.bj.2022.12.002. Epub 2022 Dec 15. PMID: 36528336; PMCID: PMC10105021].
Another study tested the effects of grounding on participants with sleep dysfunction, pain, and stress, using a conductive mattress that was connected to the earth via electrical grounding conduits. The study showed that the participants experienced significantly reduced levels of cortisol and reported an abatement or reduction in pain, stress, and sleep dysfunction. [Ghaly M, Teplitz D. The biologic effects of grounding the human body during sleep as measured by cortisol levels and subjective reporting of sleep, pain, and stress. J Altern Complement Med. 2004 Oct;10(5):767-76. doi: 10.1089/acm.2004.10.767. PMID: 15650465].
Obviously, Gen Z and Gen Alpha don’t need any scientific studies to tell them what they already know intuitively – touching grass, grounding, earthing, taking your vitamin G, or whatever you want to call it, is good for humans.
Shakespeare’s Version of “Touch Grass” - As You Like It
Shakespeare gave us this same message in many of his plays and sonnets, but it is most prominent in his nature-loving comedy, As You Like It. The play begins in the court of what Shakespeare calls “the usurping duke,” Duke Frederick. Even the character list tells us that we are in the midst of a political battle filled with envy, greed, fear, lies, struggles for power, and high anxiety for everyone caught in between. (Hey, that sounds a lot like the United States in 2024, doesn’t it?)
Anyway, some of the victims of Duke Frederick’s cruel power politics are sent away to live in exile in the Forest of Arden, with none of the conveniences of modern courtly life. It’s clear that before they reach the forest, none of the exiles are expecting it to be a positive experience, but the alternative is death by usurping Duke Frederick, so they venture into the unknown with their meager belongings. Duke Senior (the kindly, recently ousted ruler), Orlando (a young man seen as a threat to Duke Frederick), Rosalind (Duke Frederick’s niece who reminds him too much of his exiled brother, her father), and their friends, Celia, Touchstone, Amiens, Adam, and Jaques, plan for the worst in the Forest of Arden.
What they find, however, is that living in the woods in simple structures, receiving room and board from Mother Nature herself, far away from the meaningless obligations of an unjust hierarchical existence, they are happier than they’ve ever been. They enjoy life’s simple pleasures, write music and poetry, sing, dance, philosophize, rejoice in the hospitality of the local shepherds, and revel in the company of friends. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns, as the melancholy Jaques is always quick to point out, but they support each other in times of distress and celebrate each other’s joys:
“And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.”
[As You Like It, Act II, Scene 1]
“Under the greenwood tree
Who loves to lie with me
And turn their merry note
Unto the sweet bird’s throat,
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
Here shall they see no enemy
But winter and rough weather.
Who doth ambition shun
And loves to live i’ th’ sun,
Seeking the food they eat
And pleased with what they get,
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
Here shall they see no enemy
But winter and rough weather.”
[As You Like It, Act II, Scene 5]
“I earn that I eat, get that I wear, owe no one hate, envy no one’s happiness,
Glad of other one’s good, content with my harm, and the greatest of my pride
Is to see my ewes graze and my lambs suck.”
[As You Like It, Act III, Scene 2]
This is what “touching grass” can do for us. We might not be able to exile ourselves in the forest like Rosalind and Orlando, but we can take our shoes off and walk on the grass in a park, wrap our arms around a tree, plant a flower, or wade in a river, lake, or ocean (that’s grounding too!)
The Snarky Side of Touch Grass
There is a sweetness to the advice “go touch grass,” but Shakespeare also would have loved the snarkiness behind the insult. Let’s not forget that someone doesn’t tell us to “touch grass” unless we’re prattling on and getting on their last nerve. Maybe we’ve been scrolling too long, drowning in online drama, or getting sucked into gossip about things are aren’t truly important. We have to really upset our Gen Z friends and relatives for them to tell us to “touch grass.”
Shakespeare’s plays are teeming with hilarious insults tossed about by characters who really piss each other off - especially in the historical plays and dramas. Below is a tiny taste of Shakespeare’s treasure trove of snarky one-liners:
“I’d beat thee, but I would infect my hands,” (Timon to Apemantus in Timon of Athens)
“Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain that I have in mine elbows,” (Thersites to Ajax in Troilus and Cressida)(
“You bull’s pizzle,” (Falstaff to Prince Hal in Henry IV, Part 1)
“Get thee glass eyes, and like a scurvy politician, seem to see the things thou dost not.” (Lear to Gloucester in King Lear)
If you’ve been on the computer or your phone for too long, or are feeling overwhelmed by the drama and collective anxiety enveloping the United States right now, you might be on the verge of annoying one of your Gen Z or Gen Alpha relatives with your ungrounded behavior.
In that case, Shakespeare’s advice to you would be, “Touch grass, you puppy-headed resty sloth!”